Have you ever been in a situation where you feel you are happily ticking along? Life feels good. Life seems good for your partner too. Even better, the two of you seem to be ticking along together remarkably well.
Then your partner drops a bombshell. He or she suggests a big change. They want to throw all that ‘ticking along happiness’ into the air and suddenly the ground beneath you shifts. It opens up and you’re falling. And you can’t quite catch a foot hold, let alone a hand hold.
Or maybe things haven’t been that great. Maybe you’ve been scratching your heads together for a while but haven’t come up with an answer.
Perhaps you’re happy but you suspect your partner isn’t quite as happy as you are. You bury the thought and just hope he’ll ‘man up quietly’. Or that she’ll just ‘get over it’ and everything will be fine.
And then the bombshell. A new job perhaps, far from home, far from your friends and family. Far from the school your child has just settled into. Far from your own job.
Worse still, you know that now that your partner has caught the vision, they will never be able to settle again. And you can’t even find a place to process it in your own head.
There are two essential reactions to avoid in this situation.
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